The last two months.... In a nut shell!!!

I can not even begin to grasp all the changes I have made in the last 15months, let alone the last 2 months!!! 

June 5th was like an other day... Kids, laundry, meals, Ect....... 

The bike my mom had given me 2 years prior had just been hanging in the garage, taunting me with how out of shape I felt, every time I stepped foot out there.... I was on bed rest the year prior while pregnant with our son, then I had major heart complications/procedures with an exercise restriction (which, at the time was a glorious excuse to sit around and not do much physical activity.) Then a broken foot.... I felt so weak... Like I couldn't possibly accomplish any sort of exercise.... The lavender frame of the bike caught the light, dancing in the corner of my eye, almost out of sight, but just enough to tease me.... 

Finally, I just walked over to that stinking bike, pulled it down off the rack, and pedaled off.... I had made up my mind June 5th that I was tired of feeling sick and tired. I wanted more. I wanted to feel better. I was ready to FEEL healthy now that they said my heart seemed healthy enough for exercise... I rode 12miles that first day! 12miles!!!!!!! I had no idea I was capable of that!!! I was so proud!! And then so sore!! BUT, I HAD DECIDED I WOULD RIDE MOST NIGHTS AFTER THE BABIES WENT TO BED, no matter how sore I was!!!!!  I didn't set a "rest day" in stone, because I knew, life with 5 kids would cramp my riding schedule at times and I would just call those days my rest days :) 

This was my first real road ride.... We finished 25 miles.... But.... We rode on one of the hottest days of the month and we started too late.... I got sick from the heat.... Learned that lesson!!!!

I honestly have to remind myself of this a lot. Some days I'm just tired.... I mean, seriously, I have 5 kiddos and pets!!!! Who would have the energy to ride most days!!! In the beginning I honestly had to force myself to get on the bike.... Now, it's my release.... It's my time.... 

Alone Time!!!!! Me, my bike, and Dutch Love!!!!

And I get to witness His handy work on an almost nightly basis!!!!! Simply Stunning!!!!

This is the backside of the Sundial Bridge!!! I finished 30.8 miles this day and had my first crash.... In my defense, a rattlesnake was going to eat me!!! (I'll spare you those pictures!!)

It has not yet been two full months since I first pedaled out of my driveway, taking off on my journey.... To date, I have ridden 408 miles!!!!!

 

408 Miles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

We are prepping for my first organized ride as well. We are venturing up to Salem Oregon to do a 70 mile ride!!!! I am so nervous and so excited all at the same time!!  August 11th is approaching fast!!!! 

Oh, and I got myself a new, fancy shmancy road bike in perpetration for this event!!!! (My new Specialized Ruby is soooooooo much faster than my old Diamondback Hybrid!!!!)

Wish me luck!!!! And stay tuned for an update on the event!!! 

Dealing with discouragement.....

I have a hard time with discouragement. In a completely different way but much the same as my lack of self confidence.... I know this relates closely to my upbringing and the depths of my abuse, but it is still are hard pill to swallow when I am feeling so much control and self confidence building within me. 

Rationally or irrationally, I always feel as if people I am close with are conspiring against me.... I feel as if I am being pushed out, as if every force involved is pressing against me to not be involved. 

I was having a day like this yesterday... I felt as if the forces were against me... I sulked.... I pouted.... I felt like I wanted to cry although I wasn't totally sure what I wanted to cry about, a feeling?.... I stomped around a bit.... I questioned my own motives for wanting what I want (knowing full well that I am aspiring for greatness for all the right reasons...) I questioned the motives of others, rather the made up version of motives I had invented in my mind.. I even asked you guys how you handled discouragement.......

Then I found this.....

One after the other in my news feed!!!! He was speaking to ME!!! He was telling me to knock it off and look around! He was telling me exactly what I needed to do! I needed to pray about my self concocted problem..... I needed to be at peace, to know I was on the right path. I was doing what I was planned for.... 

Oh..... And chocolate helped too!!!!!! But who am I kidding, chocolate helps everything!!!

So, the moral of my little blubber~

~Pay attention... You will be shown what you are meant for! Pay attention to what is said to you, pay attention to what is asked of you...

~Trust.... Trust you are on the right path.... Trust in Him...Trust in whoever you believe in.... Trust that He is taking you down the right path....

~Pray, Pray, PRAY!!!!!!!!!!

~Talk to your friends, bounce ideas off of them....

~Have a good pout.....

~Pray AGAIN!!!!

I have the Will to follow what I am designed for! 

And then when you feel some discouragement again, Remember, He will direct your steps!!!!!